The page below is provided here for ease of dis­tri­bu­tion. The guid­ance you need to com­plete it, will have either been provided on one of our Mar­riage Pre­par­a­tion Days, or dur­ing an indi­vidual meet­ing with the Rector.

Please read the ‘Notes’ they are writ­ten for a purpose.

There are many pos­sible choices through which you can per­son­al­ise your ser­vice to make it spe­cial and indi­vidual to you. To present you with all the choices would be rather over­whelm­ing.  If there is some­thing you would par­tic­u­larly like to do / not do, please dis­cuss it with the offi­ci­at­ing Min­is­ter. They will usu­ally be happy to help and even if they are unable to say ‘yes’ (per­haps because of a legal reason, or because pre­vi­ous exper­i­ence has shown it not to work) they will hope­fully be able to sug­gest altern­at­ives ways of achiev­ing your objective.

Notes:

1. This plan­ner is based on the mod­ern lan­guage Com­mon Wor­ship ser­vice, so that your ser­vice is as access­ible to as many people as pos­sible. (The altern­at­ive is the Book of Com­mon Prayer ser­vice from 1662, or the slightly mod­i­fied form from 1928).
2. Page ref­er­ences are to the Com­mon Wor­ship Mar­riage Ser­vice book­let, ISBN 978–0715120385 (£2.99).  A more help­ful paper­back book (although the page num­bers dif­fer), is Church of Eng­land Mar­riage Ser­vices which con­tains the text of all the ser­vices, together with selec­ted hymns, read­ings and pray­ers, ISBN 978–0715142028 (£4.99).  Both are avail­able from Amazon and Chris­tian book­shops. The text of the ser­vice, pos­sible read­ings and pray­ers is avail­able online in the Resources sec­tion in the right mar­gin of this page or here.
3. There is advice and sug­ges­tions for choos­ing organ music in the Resources sec­tion in the right mar­gin of this page or here. Please note that none of our churches have the facil­it­ies to play recor­ded music from digital sources. We only per­mit ‘live’ musical con­tent and pieces that are not reli­gious are sub­ject to approval by the offi­ci­at­ing Minister.
4. We have access to some highly skilled organ­ists and if some­thing is not in their rep­er­toire they are often will­ing (time permitting) to con­sider prac­tising and per­form­ing the piece. How­ever, they may charge for any sheet music they have to purchase.
5. The offi­cial ser­vice books and yourchurchwedding.org.uk place the exchange of vows and rings after the read­ings and ser­mon.  An altern­at­ive, which most clergy take (includ­ing the Min­is­ters here), is to lead the exchange of vows and rings before the read­ings and ser­mons.  The rationale is that the bride, groom and oth­ers can relax after their speak­ing parts and enjoy the rest of the service.
6. www.achurchnearyou.com - Help in find­ing the con­tact details of the Priest for the par­ish you live in.www.yourchurchwedding.org - A Church of Eng­land site to help you plan a wed­ding online (note that the mar­riage on this web­site is con­duc­ted after the read­ings and sermon).

   www.biblegateway.com - A site that allows you to print your Bible read­ing in most Bible ver­sions, from very tra­di­tional to modern.

   www.google.co.uk - Type in the first line of almost any hymn and you will find sites (typ­ic­ally www.oremus.org) that allow you to listen to the tune(s) and source the words.  Be care­ful with words because most sites use Amer­ican spelling and unusual or very old words to avoid breach­ing copy­right.  You are bet­ter copy­ing it from an Eng­lish church hymn book.

7. This page is designed to be prin­ted, com­pleted and sent to the Rector.

Your Names:

Name of Church:

Date and time of wedding:

HOW TO FILL IT IN. If a list of numeric options is provided, circle the one that applies. Don’t for­get to sup­ply any addi­tional inform­a­tion. If an option or state­ment has a “:-” after it, it indic­ates that addi­tional inform­a­tion is required.

The Ser­vice

This sec­tion is all about the ser­vice itself and the inform­a­tion is used to pro­duce the prin­ted order of service.

Music before the service

Do you want to choose the music played before the ser­vice begins as the guests arrive, or to leave the choice to the organist?

1. We will leave it to the organist.
2. We would like :-

Are there any spe­cial announce­ments you would like made before the ser­vice, i.e. about twelve minutes before the bride is due to arrive.

1. No other announcements.
2. Please announce :-

Note:

• “House­keep­ing” announce­ments will be made prior to the entrance of the bride.  These include a polite reminder about mobile phones, con­fetti and photographs.

The Entrance

Tra­di­tion­ally, the bride enters on the arm of her father. How­ever, there are often reas­ons why this is not pos­sible and it is not a require­ments. You may walk in together as a couple, the bride may enter on her own, or on the arm of another (usu­ally male, but not required to be) rel­at­ive / fam­ily friend?

1. We will walk in together.
2. The bride will enter on her own.
3. The bride will enter with :-

What music will you have at this point?

Music (title and composer) :-

Notes:

• “American-style” pro­ces­sions with the brides­maids enter­ing before the bride do not work in small Eng­lish coun­try churches as the aisle and nave are not large enough to allow the brides­maids to step aside eleg­antly and allow the bride and her father through. It also puts the brides­maids in the wrong place for cer­tain func­tional duties such as arran­ging the veil, receiv­ing the bou­quet, straight­en­ing the train etc.
• Check out this for an inter­est­ing possibility…

The Wel­come

After the open­ing words and prayer, what hymn do you want to sing?

Hymn (includ­ing the tune name) :-

The Pre­face

What names do you want to be called in the Pre­face, and for the informal parts of the ser­vice? e.g. you may prefer your ‘usual’ name rather than the formal one, e.g. Chris and Jo rather than Chris­topher and Joanna.

For the bride please use :-

For the groom please use :-

Note:

• We draw the line at “Fluffy Bun and Pookum”, even if they are your ‘usual’ names for each other…

The Mar­riage – Giv­ing Away

The tra­di­tional ‘giv­ing away’ cere­mony hap­pens at this point. If she wishes the bride does not have to be given away at all. If she is does wish to be given away it need not be by her father, she can be given away by her mother, elder brother or someone else. As an altern­at­ive, you can use the joint declar­a­tions of entrust­ing, where both sets of par­ents respond to the fol­low­ing question:

N and N have declared their inten­tion towards each other.
As their parents,will you now entrust your son and daugh­ter to one another
as they come to be married?

Both sets of par­ents respond:

We will

The bride will be given away by :-We will.

1. There will be the joint declar­a­tions of entrust­ing by both families.
2. We will use neither.

The Mar­riage – Declar­a­tions & Vows

Do you want to use just your first name or your Chris­tian names in full at this point?

For the bride please use :-

For the groom please use :-

There are vow options to the vows, based on mod­ern lan­guage (as is the rest of the ser­vice) or tra­di­tional lan­guage (from the 1662 Book of Com­mon Prayer). Either form can include, or omit, the bride prom­ising to ‘obey’.

	Mod­ern Language	Tra­di­tional Language
Groom’s Vow	I, N , take you, N , to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day for­ward; for bet­ter, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sick­ness and in health, to love and to cher­ish, till death us do part; accord­ing to God’s holy law. In the pres­ence of God I make this vow.	I, N , take thee, N , to my wed­ded wife, to have and to hold from this day for­ward, for bet­ter for worse, for richer for poorer, in sick­ness and in health, to love and to cher­ish, till death us do part, accord­ing to God’s holy ordin­ance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.
Bride’s Vow	I, N , take you, N , to be my hus­band, to have and to hold from this day for­ward; for bet­ter, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sick­ness and in health, to love, cher­ish and obey, [obey may be omit­ted] till death us do part; accord­ing to God’s holy law. In the pres­ence of God I make this vow.	I, N , take thee, N, to my wed­ded hus­band, to have and to hold from this day for­ward, for bet­ter for worse, for richer for poorer, in sick­ness and in health, to love, cher­ish, and to obey, [obey may be omit­ted] till death us do part, accord­ing to God’s holy ordin­ance; and thereto I give thee my troth.

We would like:

1. mod­ern lan­guage vows without “obey”.
2. mod­ern lan­guage vows with” obey“.
3. tra­di­tional lan­guage vows without “obey”.
4. tra­di­tional lan­guage vows with” obey“

Note:

• If you are choos­ing tra­di­tional lan­guage vows, the offi­ci­at­ing Min­is­ter may sug­gest using the tra­di­tional lan­guage at the declar­a­tions rather than mod­ern lan­guage.  The Declar­a­tions hap­pen prior to the Giv­ing Away.

The Mar­riage – The Giv­ing of Rings

As a min­imum, the Bride must receive a ring from the Groom. How­ever, it is more com­mon now that both Bride and Groom give and receive a ring.

1. Only the Bride will receive a ring.
2. Both Bride and Groom will give and receive a ring.

Notes:

• Most offi­ci­at­ing Min­is­ters would need to be per­suaded of the reli­ab­il­ity, prac­tic­al­ity and safety of hav­ing dogs or birds of prey bear­ing the ring…

The Read­ings

There must be at least one read­ing from the Bible (see pages (16–28) for sug­ges­tions).  But you can choose another bib­lical read­ing apart from those sug­ges­tions, if you wish.

First read­ing (if the Min­is­ter agrees, this does not have to be from the Bible) :-

Read by :-

What hymn will you have between the readings?

Hymn (includ­ing the tune name) :-

Second read­ing (must be from the Bible) :-

Read by :-

The Pray­ers

The vari­ety of pray­ers are provided in the ser­vice book.  Usu­ally, the offi­ci­at­ing Priest will choose a selec­tion but you can ask for spe­cific ones if would like.  You, a close friend  or god­par­ent may like to con­sider writ­ing one and the vicar will be happy to advise.

1. We will leave it to the offi­ci­at­ing Priest.
2. We would like the fol­low­ing prayers :-
3. We would like to write a prayer.

The Priest will want to dis­cuss with you as part of your mar­riage pre­par­a­tion whether you would like a prayer for the gift of children.

1. We would like a prayer for the gift of children.
2. We would not like a prayer for the gift of children.
3. We would like a prayer for our exist­ing fam­ily (i.e. chil­dren already cared for by you).

What hymn will you sing after the prayers?

Hymn (includ­ing the tune name) :-

The Sign­ing of the Registers

What music do you want whilst sign­ing the registers?

Music (title and composer) :-

Who will your wit­nesses be? Although the law does not spe­cify age, their pur­pose would be to give reli­able testi­mony.  Hence, over eight­een would seem wise.  They may be relatives.

Wit­ness 1 :-

Wit­ness 2 :-

The Dis­missal

What music will you use as you walk out of church?

Music (title and composer) :-

Accord­ing to Debrett’s the tra­di­tional order for the reces­sional is as follows:

Bride and Groom
fol­lowed by…
Chief Brides­maid and Best Man
fol­lowed by…
Mother of the Bride and Father of the Groom
fol­lowed by…
Father of the Bride and Mother of the Groom
and finally…
the other Brides­maids, baby Brides­maids and Pages (the Rector adds, prac­tic­ally this should also include the wit­nesses and any ush­ers who have for­ward for the sign­ing of the registers)

It is worth giv­ing con­sid­er­a­tion to issues of mobil­ity, par­tic­u­larly of older par­ents, and of who should be included where remar­riage has taken place within fam­il­ies. A little tact and sens­it­iv­ity may be required.

Other Con­sid­er­a­tions

Apart from the ser­vice there are some other areas which are worthy of your advance atten­tion to help the day run smoothly.

Pho­to­graphy & Videography

Wed­dings are import­ant life events and it is under­stand­able that people want to cap­ture it in some way.  We genu­inely want to be help­ful, but wed­dings are primar­ily an act of wor­ship – that is what makes them spe­cial.  We do not want your day spoiled for you by feel­ing that you are con­stantly ‘on cam­era’.  There­fore we do not per­mit any unof­fi­cial pho­to­graphy or video­graphy and request you ensure your guests know this, per­haps by a reminder in the order of ser­vice.  Guests may take pho­to­graphs as you exit.  There are rules set for pho­to­graphy and video­graphy by the Paro­chial Church Coun­cil (for legal reas­ons) and by each offi­ci­at­ing vicar (for other reas­ons).  The stricter rules apply and you should dis­cuss them with the offi­ci­at­ing vicar, who is not at liberty to waive the legal rules whatever we might think about them.

Both churches, per­mit one offi­cial pho­to­grapher and a sheet is avail­able here for your chosen pho­to­grapher.  Video­graphy may be per­mit­ted where there are good reas­ons.  How­ever, copy­right law is com­plex.  You will need to sign a indem­nity form, ensure that you secure copy­right per­mis­sion (which applies to the all the music and lyr­ics (includ­ing some hymns) and sat­isfy our child pro­tec­tion guidelines.  We are sorry about the restric­tions, but in our increas­ingly liti­gi­ous soci­ety, we have to stay within the more cau­tious boundaries.

Name and Com­pany of Photographer:

Name and Com­pany of Videographer:

If you are using non-professional friends, please ensure they receive the information.

Hos­pit­al­ity

It is import­ant to think about wel­come and seat­ing of guests espe­cially if you anti­cip­ate a large num­ber attend­ing the service.

1. Advise the Ver­ger and Offi­ci­at­ing Min­is­ter of the approx­im­ate total num­ber of guests to expect.Approximate num­ber of guests:
2. Advise the Ver­ger and Offi­ci­at­ing Min­is­ter of any guests with mobil­ity dif­fi­culties and the extent of these. Par­tic­u­larly if they are close fam­ily / friends as we may need to move pews to accom­mod­ate them in the best place.Any mobil­ity difficulties:
3. Decide if you are going to keep ‘Bride and Grooms’ sides for seat­ing friends and rel­at­ives. Tra­di­tion­ally the Bride’s fam­ily and friends sit on the north side of the church, whilst the Groom’s sit on the south side.
4. Pre­pare a simple seat­ing plan with for the ‘essen­tial’ guests i.e. close fam­ily and friends. Give the full names and plan to the ush­ers. Each pew can seat five people.How many reserved  pews on the Bride’s side?

   How many reserved pews on the Groom’s side?

5. Ensure you print (or pho­to­copy) enough orders of ser­vice for the guests, min­is­ter, ver­ger, organ­ist and choir (if applicable).

The Rehearsal

This is usu­ally con­duc­ted on the eve of the wed­ding at about 5.00pm. This is arranged with the offi­ci­at­ing Priest, sub­ject to their avail­ab­il­ity and the avail­ab­il­ity of the church. The fol­low­ing check­list may be helpful.

• If you are being mar­ried by Banns, and you have not already given the ori­gin­als to the offi­ci­at­ing Priest, bring the Banns Certificate(s). This is essen­tial your wed­ding can­not leg­ally pro­ceed without it / them.
• If you are being mar­ried by Super­in­tend­ent Registrar’s Cer­ti­fic­ate and you have not already given the blue forms to the offi­ci­at­ing Priest, bring them. This is essen­tial your wed­ding can­not leg­ally pro­ceed without them.
• Bring the Orders of Ser­vice. They are nor­mally locked in the vestry overnight.
• Please be punc­tual for the rehearsal. Ideally the per­sons present should include: Bride & Groom, Ush­ers, Best Man, Brides­maids, Read­ers, and who­ever the Bride enters with.